i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
