just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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