I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
