Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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