No stitches, just platelets and will power
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
