been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
