marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
