Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize