I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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