i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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