i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
