I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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