Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
