We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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