that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
