Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
