I think scott just propositioned me for sex
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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