I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
