Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
