whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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