My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
