I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
