rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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