dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
