She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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