You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
