This is not my ceiling
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
