Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He uses pillows to masturbate.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
