Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
did i just pee glitter
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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