They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
