im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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