Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
