Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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