when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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