but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
