so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
