BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
