nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Couch. On fire.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize