The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
