In the future we'll all be gay
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
being pregnant is like rehab
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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