Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.

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(513): View more from Ohio

stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.

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(727): View more from Florida

Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.

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(510): View more from California

And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends

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(614): View more from Ohio

you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.

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(909): View more from California

send nudes

(951): View more from California

from the living room?

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