oh god the rape fog is back!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
