i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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