you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
