it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
