I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
