i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
