You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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