I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Watching her eat just hurts me
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
