we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
