What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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