...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize