so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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