a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
