apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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