No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
