Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
