and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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