I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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