dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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