Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
