remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
