she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
