you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
