i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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